It is imperative to know that the person you plan to be in a relationship wants the same things your do from the relationship. It is a common problem that once people are knee deep in a relationship, attached to each other and they find out how both of them are looking for separate things and it is time to part ways. Such a painful way to waste time when you could have been on the same page from the beginning. Don’t fear that the person will freak out and run away if you ask these things a little too early, just make sure you both are getting into this relationship for the same reasons- Save yourself heartbreak.
Yes, I know it’s ridiculous to ask this question a little too early, but you need the clarity. It does not matter which side you are on, whether to have kids or not to have kids – you need to make it clear because something like this breaks relationships regardless of how healthy they are. People do not change their mind about what they want, so instead of wasting so much of your precious time just ask beforehand. It also saves you from a lot of fighting later on and not leading anywhere sunny.
There are people out there who do not want a future from the relationship they are in. They are just passing their time and do not know what they plan to do with their lives in a year or two years’ time. So if you are not just passing your time and you are investing in a relationship for a reason – make it clear. Making attachments and not thinking it through is not a wise idea.
Some people think that being accepted the way they also entail not compromising at all on anything. That is not how relationships work as they are a two-way road. So make sure what your wants are and what all you are ready to put up with and what all you cannot put up with. Some people don’t want to have sex in all sorts of positions or are just downright uncomfortable with oral sex, are you ready to live with that? There are a lot of deal breakers for people, make sure you get them out of the way before being in too deep.
This is a difficult question to ask before anything actually happens. It is something you only find out when you are faced with such a problem if a friend or a family member is not fond of the person you are dating. Will you take a stand? If your partner was in a similar situation, shouldn’t he/she take a stand? I think we all want that, so make sure the person you are with has some element of courage in them.
Priorities are something that everyone has, but if your partner is keeping you at the bottom of the line – you certainly are wasting your time with them. Everyone has important priorities in their life like work, bills, social life, family, etc. but that does not mean you come after all of these things.
Respect is something that cannot be and should not be compromised on. Just because a man is with you certainly does not mean he respects women in general. He could just be looking to get laid for all you know. So get rid of him if his mentality is that of a Neanderthal.
Everyone has different levels of natural drives; it is not necessary that someone wants the same amount of sex that the other wants. Some people deem this way more important than others, and this is not as comfortable to ask someone right away. Although it is something that can be discussed in a casual discussion.
Political and religious views are something that is very strong and inculcated from an early age. You can’t separate a man from his views, so if they do not align with your views or two people are tolerant towards each other’s views will not last together for a very long time. This is something that you need to find out at the earliest stage possible.
There are times that a person does not realize how independent they are until the time they end up being with someone else. Some things need to be pointed out by someone else to realize also. And if you are an independent person, it is not always necessary that the other person will see it as a good trait. It is something that can threaten the other person and make them insecure. So find out if your partner is secure and respects you for being strong.
Some women compromise for being with a man-child that does not mean every woman wants to do that. You should not be in a relationship to take care of someone else and not be taken care of. Relationships are meant to give support to each other, not to just keep giving and not get anything in return. This way the relationship will never be healthy as the balance is off. Someone who is an adult should act like one. You want to be with someone who has his life together.
Again, there are some deal breakers that you can’t even think of. For example, eating habits and lifestyle. This can be a deal breaker for someone who is vegan and sees a meat-eater as brutal person who does not care about animals. Vegans usually have a strong belief about the consciousness of living things and whether they should be killed for food or not.
Everyone displays anger differently. Anger is an emotion, and not everyone has control over their emotions. Some people think yelling and throwing things is a normal way to display that anger, and some people just shut off and go silent. There will be disagreements and fights in a relationship, so in simple terms even your fighting style needs to be compatible.
Some things you will not know even if you ask them directly, and it is very odd to be asking such questions to a person you met only a while ago. But if the other person is sexist, racist or just a downright A-hole, you need to know that you are not on for such things and draw your line.
This is something extremely personal and can’t be asked right away; you might end up offending the other person. But if you plan to have a future with someone, you would want to know how financially stable they are. If you can’t share a lifestyle together or financially support that life, there will be some serious problems.